College, Would You Like Fries With That?

I enjoy songwriting and have recently gotten into playing Third-Wave ska on my trombone. The basic premise of ska is to play an incredibly upbeat tune with shocking/macabre lyrics.

Here are the lyrics to a silly ska song I wrote in class. Note that I’m happy with my university experience; this song presents the point that university isn’t for everyone.

College? Would you like fries with that? by Catherine Ray

You’ll struggle through your classes, and they’ll let you out of school Clutching a degree you’ve wasted your life to get, you fool Up next, the corporate overlords will laugh and watch you squirm They’ll lead you on in interviews, in the end you’ll just be spurned Run with your tail between your legs, maybe McDonald’s will accept your unskilled naivete. Life has revealed its disguise Yell, “I wish I’d Realized!”

Writing insightful term papers on the Third Reich, you never thought you’d be one of those guys who quit their work on strike First you paid thousands just to go to lectures and to class All of that money and time, for 9 to 5, for a chair and a cubicle, to sit on your ass The next 20 years consist of watching TV and arduous jobs, paying off your student loans Working over time for mortgage, so you can pay for your worthless home After work, go to the mirror. Just look yourself in the eyes, Yell. “I wish I’d realized!”

The goal of college isn’t to simply earn a scroll and a title Get something concrete from it - a job, a pay raise, a promotion Look back now - Clearly you’ll see, your only profit was debt and negative emotion. Listen up, my friend Getting some degree won’t cement your name in most minds, surroundings, nor history Education is awesome for your outlook on life, real life experience is the fastest way. The assumption that education must be IRL - Get used to living in meatspace Be an autodidact, it can’t be all that hard. Get out your laptop, a pen and some flashcards Learn a language, free eBooks, a chapter, or if you’re lazy, a word a day All along there was Wikipedia, free online courses, to your dismay It’s too late for you - unless, you’re a chrononaut Life ain’t something you can revise. Yell. “I wish I’d realized!”

Written on March 7, 2014